Understanding Relationship Anarchy: A Revolutionary Approach to Modern Connections

Anarchy can also be understood as a belief system that emphasizes freedom and equality.

When we hear the term anarchy in casual conversation, many of us immediately picture chaos, lawlessness, or societal breakdown. Popular culture reinforces this through characters like the Joker or TV shows like Sons of Anarchy, which portrays an outlaw motorcycle club balancing family loyalty with criminal activity.

However, anarchy actually represents a philosophical stance that prioritizes freedom and equality over authoritarian control, and celebrates individuality rather than conformity.

These core principles form the foundation of relationship anarchy, an approach to human connection gaining significant popularity, especially among millennials and Gen Z.

According to recent data from the Feeld dating app, 50 percent of its members practice relationship anarchy, with particularly high adoption among trans, non-binary, gender-diverse, and pansexual individuals.

By focusing on relationships that challenge conventional notions of love and power dynamics, relationship anarchy offers a refreshing framework for interpersonal and community connections. But what exactly does this entail, and how might people incorporate relationship anarchy to transform their own connections?

What Is Relationship Anarchy? Swedish tech developer, writer and producer Andie Nordgren first introduced this concept in 2006. The approach applies anarchic principles such as anti-capitalism, anti-hierarchy, and mutual aid to resist traditional relationship structures.

Nordgren outlined four fundamental elements of relationship anarchy:

Rejecting interpersonal coercion

Prioritizing community importance

Recognizing mutual aid as essential support

Viewing commitments as communication rather than contracts

The philosophy suggests that replacing codependent coupledom with more expansive forms of interpersonal care can build stronger communities that emphasize interdependence among people, animals, and the environment.

Relationship anarchy offers an inherently queer and inclusive framework centered on creating relationships that genuinely reflect people's desires, rather than adhering to social conventions out of obligation, family pressure, or fear of expressing authentic needs.

Practicing relationship anarchy means giving equal importance to friends, lovers, and companions. Most practitioners engage in alternative relationship structures, such as various forms of non-monogamy.

With the growing social ambivalence toward certain relationship types—as evidenced by recent cultural discussions questioning whether "having a boyfriend is embarrassing"—and the steady increase in unmarried individuals, many people may already be adopting these radical approaches without realizing it.

How To Practice Relationship Anarchy. If you're curious about exploring relationship anarchy in your life, begin by reflecting on your past relationships and what you truly desire in your connections.

Consider how you want these relationships to feel. Have you felt pressured into monogamy when you'd prefer something different? Do you miss friendships that typically fade when you enter committed partnerships? Would you like to blur the rigid boundaries that typically separate friends, lovers, colleagues, and family members?

Perhaps you're struggling with overwhelming family obligations that leave little time for personal care and growth.

There are numerous ways to incorporate relationship anarchy into your life. You might discuss the concept with your partner and share resources to gauge their interest. You could focus on nurturing meaningful connections with your chosen family or explore more communal living arrangements.

Since relationship anarchy rejects conventional labels like "friends," "lovers," or "life partners," you might abandon these categories in favor of more integrated connection styles built around customized relationships.

You might also reconsider consumption patterns often linked to traditional relationship structures and explore less resource-intensive lifestyles.

Is The Future Of Love Non-Hierarchical? With current trends showing dating app fatigue, the emergence of AI matchmakers, and growing interest in celibacy, love remains central to countless contemporary discussions.

Given the increasing interest in non-traditional relationships and resistance to exploitative systems depleting Earth's resources, relationship anarchy's rising popularity makes sense. Many people seek new ways of relating that they can define and navigate according to their unique preferences.

Relationship anarchy also provides a pathway to enrich social networks and community bonds, which can significantly reduce the social isolation and disconnection many younger generations experience. While no relationship model can address all complex challenges facing younger generations, relationship approaches evolve over time, and relationship anarchy might offer a compelling alternative.

You can reimagine your concepts of love and relationships to align with your authentic desires. This process isn't simple or straightforward—welcome to the complexities of life and love—but it remains entirely possible.

In our media-saturated world that often prioritizes profit over meaningful connection, we can create alternative relationship models that feel more compassionate, collaborative, and enjoyable. Relationship anarchy may offer precisely the non-hierarchical approach many people are seeking.

(Author: Treena Orchard, Associate Professor, School of Health Studies, Western University)

(This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.)

(Disclosure statement: Treena Orchard has received funding from CIHR, SSHRC, and Western Ontario, but no research monies were used in the creation of this article.)